Inability To Consent Versus Opportunity To Consent

I was at the Qld Health Women and Girls’ Health Showcase recently with some wonderful speakers showing us what’s up and coming in the health space for women and girls. One of the talks in particular peaked my attention. It was about sexuality and disability and there was a comment made that some people cannot consent. I wanted to write about this comment because I think it is so important to discuss consent and disability. 

People often get confused between the inability to consent versus the opportunity to consent. 

Everyone has the ability to consent. Particularly a person who is non-verbal. The person may not be able to say yes or no but I can guarantee that they’d have a communication system in place that allows them to communicate yes or no and if they don’t, this is a violation of their human rights. 

Non-Verbal consent can look like using AUSLAN, pointing to a picture of yes or no, using sounds or movements with their body to communicate to the people around them what they want or need. For example, which food they would like to eat, are they ready for a shower, do they need assistance with toileting. All of these require consent.

When a person can communicate what they want or need, this shows they have the ability to consent. 

What they don’t often have is the opportunity to consent. This comes from two different perspectives when we are talking sexual consent. 

One - due to the high level of care the person requires, they will be restricted in who they can meet and what they can do. This means they do not get the opportunity to consent with a sexual or intimate partner. It’s really unfair and needs to change because everyone has a sexuality they need to be able to explore. 

Two - because of the vulnerability that comes with the requirement of a high level of care, the person is more likely to experience sexual abuse. Again, not having the opportunity to consent. 

So next time you hear someone say that a person with disabilities cannot consent, ask them how they consent to other things in their life, not just sex.

This is a really important conversation to be having because consent isn’t just about sex. It’s showing or telling others what you want and need in all parts of your life.